Profile & Scouting Report
Profile
Height: 5' 10"
Weight: 165lbs with 10 cans of Skoal in my back pocket.
Born: In a chewin tobacco factory
Scouting Report
Drafted By: Some Yoots in dire need
1998 year Highlights:
When the Spitters team (The Drunk Drivers) were contacted about his highlights of the
previous year. They stood for a long time trying to remember….anything. They could
only muster up "We did get to laugh at the time he spit directly into the wind and
his face ended up lookin like a Dalmatians. We did hear an unconfirmed report that the
course had to be shut down after this "Drunk Driver" team played through due to
a mysterious, foul, wintergreen smelling, sticky, brown substance that coated the
tee’s, fairways, and greens. The substance was tested in a lab but it is still
unconfirmed as to what it is.
The Long Game:
Lets just look at a quote from Golf Magazine on this particular person. "On his long
game he’s a slicy, dicey, spittin kitten". I guess that sums it up.
The Short Game:
Is that a magnet in yur pocket……or a can of skoal? Could maybe putt better if
he’d wipe that drool off his lip!
What about the enemies?
M.A.C.T. (Mothers Against Chewin Tobacco)
1999 Projection:
Lets look into the crystal ball……hmmm I don’t see him. Isn’t that
weird?
SOURCE: Yoot Shoot Questionnaire |
