Profile & Scouting Report
Profile
Height:
of my career
Weight:
until you see our secret weapon this year!
Born: with
a sand wedge in my hand
Drafted:
N/A. Yoot Forefather, Yoot CEO,
Chairman of Yoot Site Selection Committee, Director
of Yoot Goodie Procurement, Director of
Yootshoot Rules Implementation Team, Editor-in-Chief
of the Yoot Post, Board of Directors on the
Yootshoot Website Committee, Co-Chairman of Holes n'
Poles selection committee, Volunteer for TRASH
(Twins Run Amuck from Smoking
Hash), Author of the NY Times Best
Seller "Chipping 'em in with Yur Eyes
Closed", Head of Household, Parent
in Charge on Tuesdays and Thursday's 4:00 - 8:30pm,
Co-writer of the hit songs "Handle With
Care" , "Chemo Dog",
"Pink-Dotted Hindu Bitch" & "Bang
Your Head Against a Flag Pole", Creator/Owner of the rights to the future band name
of "Fidgety Steven", 2002 WWOG Champion,
2003 WWOG Champion, Married filing jointly.
Scouting Report
2002
Season
An awesome opening round in the bar (It was
rained-out, and I held my own in the bar at Boyne
even after receiving fierce words from irate Yooters
that we should be out there in the rain...after
all...WE HAVE PLAYED IN THE DAMN SNOW BEFORE!)
Sorry Yooters...I tried, but in the end the greens
superintendent has the final say! Really, it
wasn't ME!
The Long Game
Waiting for the rain to subside on that
dreadful friday...missing our chance to turn in a
leading score at the Heathers course. The day
was long and the drinking started VERY
early...through the
rain...drinking...waiting...drinking some
more. After 6 hours of this, I was designated
the driver of our car because I was in the best
condition. It was ice water after that while
all my Yoot kin partied like there was no tomorrow
(and no such thing as a hangover). I was
caught in downtown Petoskey...buzz
wearing thin, with a bunch of drunks and I was
drinking ice water. RFN. I vow NEVER to leave
the resort compound AGAIN...where I don't have to
DRIVE when I drink!
The Short Game
Give me a branch of a willow tree and a old
Tootsie Pop and I will hit that Tootsie to within 6
inches of the cup anytime.
What about the
"Enemies" ?
Enemies? What Enemies? Nobody
loves a whiner and I ain't complainin' 'bout nuthin.
2003 Projection
Hahahahaha..... Now go get that Cup and chill
it up REAL nice in the freezer before you put my
beer in it. Holes-N-Poles likes our beer near
frozen and we will be drinkin from that cup come
Saturday afternoon. Just don't let our lips
stick to the frozen metal rim.
SOURCE: Yoot Shoot Questionnaire |
