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Gary Player
| aka -
"Real"  | Drunk Drivers II |

Inaugural Year

Years Played

Last Year Played

Yoot Shoot Record Since 1994






Win %

Profile & Scouting Report (to be read with English accent)


Height:  Tall enough to order another round at the corner Pub.
Weight: 78Kg (170lbs for all you Americans)
Born: On the other side of the Pond

Scouting Report

Drafted By: Kevin “Lawnmower Man” Kotenko

2000 year Highlights:
Quotable Quote:"I'm very disappointed in the young American golfer nowadays...We had to travel 14 hours on a plane with 5 children and no disposable diapers. Now they're playing for $2 million and they say, "Oh, I'm having lunch with my granny," or something."  Gary Player, criticizing some golfers for refusing to travel to events outside the United States.

The Long Game:
All drives will sail straight and true to the middle of the fairway, turning 90 degrees to avoid a trap or hazard if need be.

The Short Game:
All balls within 42” of the cup will be properly struck with the correct force which will propel them into the bottom of said cup as only a proper English gentleman can do. Of course, there are never any balls placed on the green outside of 42”.

What about the enemies?
I have no bloody enemies. Well, alright, I have one. That Mel Gibson chap didn’t need to force us to relive past attritions in his latest movie “The Patriot”. You fellows should just be happy we ‘gave’ you this small plot of land, you heathens.

2001 Projection:
After using the past year to adjust to the American lifestyle (driving on the right side, fast women, etc.) and having whipped my American teammates into decent shape, winning the cup is but a formality. Cheers!

SOURCE: Yoot Shoot Questionnaire


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