Profile & Scouting Report
Profile
Height: 5' 10"
Weight: 175lbs.
Born: Yes I was, I mean 9/24/71
Scouting Report
Drafted By:
N/A One of the original creators of the Drunk Drivers.
1998 year Highlights:
Bass showed up to not only drink heavily, but also became an asset to the team (even if it
is only 1 shot per 9). He was wisely chosen to be "double putt boy", and
the DD's actually used his score on the "Hold your own hole".
The Long Game:
Bass's long game consists solely of how many fairways he must cross to find his tee
shot. Other than that, Bass if a definite 'observer only' from the tees.
Although years back, the Yoot committee toyed with a D.W. (designated women) rotation
enabling him and Topper to hit from the ladies tees, it was
dropped after they seen as a "threat" to toppling the dynasty Hole's n' Poles
team.
The Short Game:
Bass has been seen taking a perfectly good ball and 'skulling' it into a ubolistic
hell ! That's cutting a ball in half to anyone who didn't understand that. As
for putting, Bass commented that up until the 1998 Yoot he was an excellent putter.
But now Bass can be seen swinging wildly at his head like he was getting attacked by a
swarm of bees, all the while screaming "SHUTUP! SHUTUP! I will !". When
confronted with this, Bass tells us of voices in his head that he hears as soon as he
steps foot on the green. Something along the lines of "You've got to hit the
ball Scott!".
What about the enemies?
Bass believes the only enemy for his team, is the heat of the sun and how fast it melts
the ice which maintains that temperature of the Drunk Driver's lifeblood, BEER. Also
mentioned that the Yoot Shoot should avoid courses not allowing coolers onto the course.
1999 Projection:
Bass will attempt to drink even more than he has in the past, and will even add new
artillery to the mix: Box-O-Wine ! ! ! Bass also said "WE WILL DRINK FROM THE CUP! And, we'll DRINK IT ALL LIKE
WORTHY CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!! (unlike holes n' poles sad sad sipping last year)".
SOURCE: Yoot Shoot Questionnaire |
