Profile & Scouting Report
Profile
Height: 5' 10"
Weight: 161lbs.
Born: Yes I was, I mean 9/24/71
Scouting Report
Drafted By:
N/A One of the original creators of the Drunk Drivers.
1999 year Highlights:
With the most losses on the Yoot tour, Bass came to play. Too bad it wasn't golf!
Although he led the Drunk Drivers in most beers drank, his putting cost the DD's
the tournament. An eerie apparition was heard by Bass saying "you gotta
hit the ball Bass, you can't be short" causing Bass severe mental breakdowns.
The Long Game:
Bass's long game consists solely of how many fairways he must cross to find his tee
shot. Other than that, Bass if a definite 'observer only' from the tees.
Although years back, the Yoot committee toyed with a D.W. (designated women) rotation
enabling him and Topper to hit from the ladies tees, it was
dropped after they were seen as a "threat" to toppling the dynasty Hole's n' Poles
team.
The Short Game:
Bass has been seen taking a perfectly good ball and 'skulling' it into a ubolistic
hell ! That's cutting a ball in half to anyone who didn't understand that. As
for putting, Bass recently purchased a new Carbite putter after seeing
what it did for Brad Gomez's putting in the 1999 Championship. He is now
reportedly "catching fire" as he is just now getting used to
the "gimmick putter". He plans by October to be anchoring his
team on the putting greens, bombing in 25 footers to help bring his team
to the winners circle. In a recent article in Northern Golfer Magazine
he said this "Oh dude, It really, really does work. I can even
close my eyes as I strike the ball and even if you miss-hit it, it will
go towards the hole. Its awesome dude. Rock the house."
What about the enemies?
Bass believes the only enemy for his team, is the heat of the sun and how fast it melts
the ice which maintains the temperature of the Drunk Driver's lifeblood, BEER. Also
mentioned that the Yoot Shoot should avoid courses not allowing coolers onto the course.
2000 Projection:
Bass does not want the "Most losses in Yoot history" record and plans to do
something about it. He has purchased a new wedge and plans to improve his short
game......if that doesn't work, he has learned to crack the top off of any twistless
bottle with it in less than 2 seconds. Or he can beat box off a box - o - wine
without harming the precious contents. For a stroke of luck before the
big weekend, the Glib & him are planning to get drunk, pull each others
clothes off, and pierce themselves silly around the head, neck and chest
area's.
SOURCE: Yoot Shoot Questionnaire |
